Christmas Updating!

Oops! I've been gone for awhile again! Things always get crazy around the holidays.

Important December happenings (besides getting ENGAGED!)....

THIS guy turned 27! His birthday present and I now have to compete for attention...

We did pretty well with our Christmas shopping this year, although we didn't actually get to spend Christmas together. We vowed that this would be the first and only year that we spend Christmas apart. I went to my grandma's house in San Angelo for three days and Kyle had to work. Sad face. 

I diddddd get to see these lovely faces though...

My cousins can make me belly laugh like nobody else... You might see these faces again as they will be part of my wedding party. Sarah will be playing volleyball for Tulane in the fall so we might just be carrying a card board cut out of her down the aisle.....

 

It freaks me out in a good way that next year we will be married! Speaking of getting married (again!)..... I found my venue and we set a date!

This is a shot of where the ceremony will take place...The reception will be at the same location, but inside. It's a big open industrial loft space just south of downtown. We didn't want something too traditional and wanted freedom to do what we wanted with the space. I think we found the perfect spot! The pictures online don't do the space justice, but they have open houses every Wednesday, where you can bring people or your vendors to check out the place.

This weekend Kyle and I have spent some time getting ready for the new year with some new decorating and some winter cleaning. Yes, I do feel so old. We spent a Christmas gift card and got some things for the bedroom. My awful pictures don't do it justice.

 

We got a new bed side table for my side,a new picture (not pictured), new lamps, and new pillows. We've had the picture above the bed and the shelves for awhile but we didn't put them up because the room still felt so empty and incomplete. It's definitely not a finished room but the new additions did a lot to warm it up. Decorating a house is really a long work-in-progress.

I'm very excited about another short week. Happy New Year!

Being HappiER

I was going to wait until I had finished this book before I talked about it but I have found so much of it interesting, helpful and relatable, I decided to go ahead and mention it.

 

In this book, the author sets about embarking on a year long project to improve her happiness. Not because she is not happy or depressed, but just because she wondered if she could be happier. I think that's an interesting theory all in itself but I'll save it for later (there's probably a lot of areas where I could add an -er)

There are so many parts of this book so far (I'm only about halfway through) that have really resonated with me. The first is when the author mentions her love "for receiving gold stars." I, too, enjoy my gold stars. I always have. I always loved to learn and loved school but I would be lying if I said I wasn't driven at points by being teacher's pet. I seek other people's approval and expect a pat on the back or gold star for a job well done. This was a timely topic for me because in recent months, for various reasons, I have had to re-evaluate that characteristic in myself. I had to realize that if I based my opinion on myself on what other people think and how many "gold stars" I get, it could be a rough road. I have had the realization that I'm not always going to get the gold stars that I think I deserve (whether I deserve them or not) and I have to be motivated internally. I have to do things for me and not let a lack of gold stars affect my feelings about myself. I realize this is vague, but because of the public nature of this blog, there are some things that I don't want to talk about just yet. I have noticed a change in my day to day life when I am driven by myself and not gold stars, I feel better. There's no let down. 

The author also makes a goal to "accept the reality of other people's feelings." I have seen many examples of this in my own life. This particular goal is mentioned in the parenting section of the book but I have found it to be true about all people.The author, Gretchen, gives an example of a specific instance where her daughter comes in to her bedroom upset because she feels like her little sister gets more attention and love than she does. Gretchen realizes that her normal response of "of course we love you just as much" or "that's silly and not true" won't help. Instead she acknowledges that her daughter feels that way and moves on, making an effort to show her daughter that she is loved and special.

  I'll throw Kyle under the bus first. :) There have been several times when Kyle has gotten upset about something and I try to "fix the problem." In my mind, if I can find a solution to the problem, the problem will go away and he won't be upset anymore. I think this way because that's how I work most of the time. I have a problem, I need a solution. However, there have been several times when I have realized that my attempt to solve Kyle's problem has actually made him feel like I was downplaying the issue or that I was saying that what he was feeling was not legitimate. That, of course, was never my intention. Sometimes you just need to accept the reality of other people's feelings.

I then thought about this in terms of my feelings. Like I mentioned before, when I am upset about something, I am usually comforted by solution.  One situation comes to mind though, where this was/is not the case. My parents divorce. I realized that I stayed angry for so long and sometimes still have angry days because I didn't feel like my feelings were acknowledged. People say things like "Don't you want them to be happy?" Or "You should be happy because they're happy." It's not that I don't want those things, but I want my sadness, grief and general discomfort to simply be acknowledged. Their happiness doesn't make me less happy for them but it doesn't decrease my sadness or grief. I don't always want someone to counter my feelings and "fix" them for me, I just want someone to acknowledge that my feelings are real and legitimate.

So there you have part one of my reflections on my current read. One of Gretchen's commandments is to "Be Gretchen." I have also taken that point to heart and so have written this wordy post in an effort to "Be Allison". Allison writes.

The Story

I was all ready to go with my WIAW post last week but then Kyle decided to throw me off (in the best way possible)

 

I knew a proposal was coming soon because we had talked about it and Kyle and I are very bad at keeping secrets (especially ones that we are excited about) I wasn't sure exactly when it was going to be but I was going to be very suspicious over the next couple of weekends. I was definitely not expecting it at home on Wednesday night. 

I hadn't been feeling very good that day so I was particularly whiny when I got home that night. I had just put on my pajamas (always one of the first things I do when I get home) and laid down on the couch to  lament about my headache and what to eat for dinner. I shut my eyes for a second (for dramatic effect of my headache) and when I opened them again, Kyle was down on both knees. I talked through the first half of his speech asking "Are you sure?!?! Right now?!?!"

Turns out that Kyle had planned to propose this weekend in Fort Worth, but I guess the ring was burning a hole in his pocket :) I was actually glad that he jumped the gun because at home with just the two of us was perfect. I know it was important to Kyle to catch me off guard and he definitely did. I would have been waiting for it this weekend!

With the proposal complete, we were able to fully enjoy ourselves this weekend at the Omni in Fort Worth. 

 Kyle and I are both big fans of down town areas and we are both relatively unfamiliar with Fort Worth so it was a fun adventure!

Kyle told me that this is where he would've proposed, had he been able to wait until Saturday ;)

Thank you to our families for your support, love and wishes! We are very excited to begin this next phase!

 

All I want for Christmas is YOU..and....

Christmas presents (for myself) don't really top the list of things that I am really focused on this month, but let's pretend that I could buy myself whatever I wanted. 

New Warby Parker glasses would make the list.

Also, this mustard scarf from kikilarue.com. I have to admit, I was very tempted to buy this goodness this week for myself but I remained strong.

Pretty much this whole store.... but especially:

 

A cute button up top.

Oh and  also this whole store....

And this whole store...

 

Yep, I like to think big and buy whole stores...It'd be lots of fun if I could post what I'd like to buy other people this year but that'd probably ruin the Christmas surprise.

Hope you all are having a great weekend!