15 Year Old Me Says Hello

I think everyone experiences that moment in life where you realize how old you are and how fast time passes. And you're like whatttttt...you're 25. Yeah, but in my head, I swear I could still be 15.

And these kids are like..."But you're not."

"Oh my goose.. I just might die without my phoneeeeee...and {insert dumb rapper or boy band or Justin Beiber  boy band guy trying to be a rapper}. YOLO. "

 And I see Drake and all I can think of is "OMG Jimmy finally got out of that wheelchair!!" #canadianactornotfromtheghetto

I know my *future* kids will someday think I am the most uncool person in the world. But I was once, or at least I was trying to be just like every teenager is still. The story of the glory days in movies always revolves around that football game or whatever. But for me and my friends, it's all about the music.  If I'm being perfectly honest, you'll still find the music I listened to in high school on my slacker station. And I listen to it every day.

 Where'd this music go?

Don't do drugs kids. Unless you're trying to make an awesome album.  Some things never change. A band's first album is always the best. There's something about being real and honest and on drugs that you just can't recreate once your ego is up and you've been to rehab, everything is made by the computer record execs get a hold of you.

That genuine rawness of people and emotions is hard to come by. You really don't get it from radio music these days. I'm sorry, but you can't tell me that you connect on a deep level with Lil Wayne. If you do, you need to go to rehab you need a reality check. 

Life isn't about getting money or bleeping lady friends (editing brought to you by me). It's wonderful, awful, messy, fantastic, horrible and raw. It's about feeling feelings. When you're fifteen, you feel feelings so raw that you think you just might die. And sometimes when you're eighteen, twenty-five, fifty and ninety-eight. That's life ya'll.

Don't waste an opportunity to feel those fifteen year old feelings in a room with 200 of your closest friends.

 I tried to dig up a great 15 year old emo Allison picture for you but it turns out that I deleted my myspace in a moment of clarity  weakness.

duckface is the best I can do.

Overshare Saturday

Welcome to crazy month March! Our to-do list around these parts is packed to the brim. 

Tomorrow we are having an early Easter dinner with Kyle's family.

 Then we have my aunt's wedding next Saturday. I'm honored to be doing a reading during her ceremony, so we have a rehearsal/dinner Friday evening and then the wedding on Saturday. It'll be a nice run-through for Kyle with my gigantic family who he will see again in October.

 Next weekend will be followed by a trip to Arkansas the next weekend to visit Kyle's grandparents. We're blessed to have such a large family on both sides who love and support us!  

Oh yeah, and we're planning that whole wedding thing. ;) Turns out that October is the most popular wedding month of the year in Texas, so I have had to get most of the major planning out of the way. 

Venue

Photographer

Florist

Officiant

Dress

DJ

Next up...food and drinks! I know they are very important pieces but honestly, they just weren't at the top of my priority list. Also, you can't really secure them that far in advance, nor do you need to. But for budget reasons, I need to get at least an idea pretty soon! Our engagement photography session is coming up next month and I couldn't be more excited!

Even with our busy schedule, I feel like I have been do a lot better with that balance problem I've been battling. Good things are coming people!

Two of my favorite things this week ( and every week)

 I have to admit that before these two, it had been awhile since I had a really strong bond with a cat. I've had cats for a long time but with the distraction of dogs, it's sometimes hard to really build that bond. 

Mayhem (on the right) is our puppy. He needs to be involved in everything we do. That includes putting up the groceries, hanging a picture, taking a shower, etc. Every morning he hangs out in between the shower curtains while I take a shower and every evening he snuggles on the couch with me (unless Kyle is going to the kitchen because we keep the toy in there).  We're pretty sure he is incapable of hissing.

Danger is more of the typical cat type. She likes pets and cuddles but only on her schedule. She comes up for a pet from Kyle every night before we go to sleep. She's definitely Kyle's girl but is coming around to me again slowly but surely. (She went in to heat twice before she was fixed and it changed her personality. She became a little grumpier and didn't want to hang out with me as much for whatever reason.) She also follows us from room to room but is usually hanging back being a creeper as opposed to Mayhem who is always all up in our business.

We adopted both of them from shelters as kittens. We rescued Mayhem off of death row (He wouldn't let people touch him. HA! What a change!) It has been so interesting to watch them grow up and develop such distinct personalities. It goes to show that nurture definitely plays a part with nature. We like to sit around and watch My Cat from Hell and talk about what awesome cat parents we are. You know, like you watch wife swap to remember how normal your family is.

 One day I just woke up and suddenly I was a boring grownup. I make sure to eat enough greens each week, enjoy my coffee in the morning while I read the newspaper blogs, and write about my cats on Saturday night.

Sorry I'm not sorry ;)

Friday Favorites A Day Late

Back on the wagon ya'll!! I thought I'd share a few things on my current want list and other brain ramblings...

Just like everyone else.. I'm a Toms lover. I got Kyle on the bandwagon too. I'm currently lusting over these bad boys:

I'm also seriously considering wearing a pair in my wedding. No one is going to see my shoes and I don't really want to wear heels because then I'll be too tall. 

 

I'm also about 5 seconds away from ordering the below poster. Five points if you get the reference before scrolling down.

It's a reference to the song "Konstantine" by Something Corporate which takes me immediately back to highschool. In 2010 I was lucky enough to visit one of my most favorite friends, Tiffany, and go to the reunion show in NYC. Here's that song from that very show.

And this chair...or at least this print.... (insert sighs here about when I'll be able to afford custom furniture someday)

And this rug for our bedroom

 

I hope you all are having a great weekend!

Quirks

Oops. It seems that I took a blog break again, so let me catch you up really quick. I've been pretty tired busy with life and such. Everything caught up with me and I got really sick last week. I did get better (ish) in time to go wedding dress shopping last Saturday! It was easy breezy and I found my dress! If you see me in person, I can show you :)

 

 Also, I'm growing my bangs out. They finally got long enough to swoop just this week, so if you see me with my awkward hair, that's what's up.  (If I was at work I would totally make my student re-do that sentence!) 

              

 I mentioned earlier that I've been really super tired, stressed and blah lately. Kyle totally called me out on it last week. Remember that post about balance? I'm still working on that. But that leads me to another topic.

Living together before getting married. 

When I was growing up I didn't really picture myself living with a guy before getting married. My dad always said "A guy won't buy the cow if he can get the milk for free." Touching, I know. (And then my parents got divorced and his tune totally changed.) But then life happens and things change. Not to mention, its really nice to live with the person you spend all your time with anyway and its tough financially to live on your own. I have to say, I'm really super happy that Kyle and I have lived together for awhile before getting married. 

That first year of marriage that everyone says is so hard? We've kind of already done that. ( Yes, some things will still change once we get married..finances..etc) However, I feel like Kyle and I have figured out how to be a team in this past year. You definitely have to get used to each other's quirks.  Here's some examples:

1. I hate doing dishes and Kyle can't stand a messy kitchen. Solution: I rinse my dishes in the morning and then we do the evening dishes together.

2. I'm crazy messy. However, if the mess gets out of control, it overwhelms me, stresses me out and never gets cleaned. It makes no sense, I know. Solution: we clean up a little every night so the clutter never gets crazy.

3. For awhile I was trying to do the grocery shopping and make dinners, etc. all by myself. It got to be too much. Solution: we meal plan and grocery shop together on the weekend. We both contribute to the preparation during the week.

4. Kyle wakes up on the weekends talking, singing, playing music etc. Like the second he opens his eyes. I'm not a morning person on the weekends. He's learned to work with me on this.

 Those are just a few examples but I've heard a lot of others from friends, fellow bloggers etc. Do you leave the shower curtain open or closed? Same goes for toilet covers, closet doors, etc. etc. We humans are funny creatures. I feel like we have gotten a lot of those little things figured out. Yes, there will always be more things and we are always evolving. But I feel like I am really sure that we function together well. I feel like we can tackle things as they come up and find solutions or figure out how to deal with them together. We are always in the process of learning how to communicate more efficiently.

 We know each other 100% and we know what we are signing up for. I can't imagine a better partner for me, even when I want to duck tape his mouth shut on Saturday mornings. :)

Theme of the day: commas.

(Not-So) Weekly Wedding Update

Time for a wedding update! I'm slowly but surely crossing things off the list. It's a little rough being your own wedding planner but I have a really clear vision of what I want so I wouldn't trust anyone else ;)

Next big thing...Florist! My mom and I met with Kirby at Bows and Arrows a couple of weeks ago.  I felt like she really got my vision and I left feeling pretty excited. I am very excited to have such amazing talent as part of the special day.

 

 You can check out more of their amazing work here. Not only will they be helping me out with the normal flower items, but they are going to help me with alter decoration as well...which will look something like this:

 With different fabric and flowers :)

Next up will be wedding dress shopping and I have to admit that in true girl fashion, I am SO excited. I spent a lot of time not really thinking about it. I'm a definite dress girl so I haven't been too obsessed about it, thinking that once I go I will find the perfect one pretty easily. I also didn't think I'd be the girl who sees a dress and calls around to see who has it. But alas, I stumbled upon exactly what I want. You never know what dresses look like on you until you put them on but just in case...I'm not going to post it on here since Kyle is one of my loyal twelve followers.

I know it's super trendy and time efficient to do a first look but no one has been able to talk me into it yet. I want that first look on the aisle moment.

 Word of the day : excited.

 

Balance

What a fantastic three day weekend. It came at the perfect time. I feel more energized for this week than I have in awhile.

I know everyone struggles with this but I have just felt blah lately. It's hard to be the perfect everything all of the time. There just aren't enough hours in the day. I'm (and by me, I mean everyone) supposed to be able to work out every day, work hard with tough kids every day, have  (healthy) dinner planned and made in the evenings, watch my shows, read a book, spend quality time with my fiance, d0 whatever chores need to be done, etc etc. Now I know I don't actually have to do all of those things every day but if I had my way I that's what I would want to accomplish every day. And I don't even have any children. Hats off to you that do.

My workouts were kind of blah too last week. If I'm not able to get to the gym by 4pm, it's not going to happen ( see long list of other things I feel like I should do above). I was gun-ho about waking up early last week and going before work but that didn't happen either. I need time to wake up and eat breakfast and all of that jazz or I'm worthless in the gym anyways. I did get my butt kicked by Jillian at home a few times though. Her videos are hard! 

 I put a lot of pressure on myself and I can get stuck in obsessive brain loops. I start feeling guilty if I didn't work out enough this week or if I ate too much junk. I feel guilty if I had too many bad sessions with students at work or didn't make enough real meals throughout the week. 

I'm trying to be better about finding balance. I know I don't have to read but it makes me feel less stressed if I find time for it.  It's something that I really love. It makes me feel good to get some exercise in for the week but I have to be okay if it's an off week. 

Kyle and I have both been trying to be better about what we can do at home to make our days overall easier and less stressful. We try to clean a little every day so that it doesn't build and overwhelm us. He's awesome about cleaning up the kitchen ( something that I hate to do) and I try to stay on top of the laundry. We used to be bad about letting clothes stack up in the bedroom but now we both clean up a little every night so that it's always clean.

The point of all of this rambling is that we all have to let ourselves off the hook sometimes. We can't do everything all of the time and be everything all of the time.

Current Events and Social Media

I'm a little exasperated.  

One of the biggest problems ( I believe) in America today is that we are too self absorbed. Honestly, that's why I think other countries have such strong negative opinions of us. Facebook and other social media outlets make us feel important and certainly don't help. We care too much about the Kardashians and Real Housewives and too little about what's going on in our country and around the world. We're distracted by abortion and gay rights ( although everyone knows those things are important to me) in elections to worry about things like foreign policy and budgets. 

Currently, the "truth behind Sandy Hook" video is spreading like wildfire and people just believe it. If somebody can put a video together or write about it on the Internet, it must be true right? I'd like to give you all the benefit of the doubt that you all are smarter than that. Something you should be aware of? How about the fact that the government gives billions of dollars in weapons to Bahrain, who in fact uses those weapons against their own people to keep them cooperative? Why would we do that? Because we need to keep Bahrain as an ally so that we can maintain our military base there.  Nobody even talks about that tragedy. In fact, they show "look at how great Bahrain is" on CNN without telling you that it's a paid advertisement. How liberal is THAT liberal media? 

Nobody talks about the provision in NDAA ( National Defense Authorization Act) that now allows the governement to detain anyone suspected of terrorism for an indefinite amount of time without trial. You're thinking, HELL YEAH THIS IS AMERICA! LETS GET THOSE TERRORISTS! But who is that really a strike against? Journalists. You want to talk about the little step that snowballs? It's not the cracking down on gun control. ( oh more background checks? Sounds good. Stopping the loophole of unregulation at gun shows? Sounds great.) it's the fact that a journalist can speak the truth about atrocities and be labeled a terrorist. No ifs, ands or buts.

All I'm asking is that you take the time to open your world up a little. Read a book.travel. Step away from your Facebook, twitter feed and Instagram. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes. You're worrying about your guns being taken away, or your show not coming back on for another week. Someone else is worrying about not having clean water or the tear gas that is going to drop on their village in fifteen minutes. We are not AMERICA FUCK YEAH. We are citizens of the world. We have responsibilities to each other as humans. You need to take in all of the information that you can, but you need to filter it and know that EVERYTHING is skewed. You need to use your brain and your heart at the same time. 

I truly believe that the ultimate empowerment is education.