Having a child has made me think about a lot of things. What do I want her to see in me? What kind of example will I be for her? What kind of person do I hope that she will be? What kind of world do I want her to live in?
I have to admit that this polarizing period in American history scares me. The internet scares me. People form opinions and judgments on half truths and outright lies that they read on the internet. What?! That's crazy. There's too much access. Women are oversexualized. Wait, empowered.. no wait, taken advantage of. Now, I'm confused. Kids today learn that you can grow up to be President or you can just sit at home in your basement and maybe you'll get rich and famous by making sick beats on your computer. You need to work harder or maybe you don't have to do that much. It's a hard and confusing world to live in.
It's also full of hate and judgement and fear. And that is something I feel like I can stand firmly against. I don't live my life out of fear and I don't choose my political leaders out of fear. I don't want her to shy away from people because of the color of their skin, the clothes they wear, the religion they practice, what they call God, what their citizenship status is, their sexual preference, gender, what their favorite color is or if they prefer hot or cold weather.
I want her to show kindness and compassion to everyone she encounters. I struggle, but I am consistently working on this. It's hard to show kindness and compassion to people who do not offer you the same. I want her to know that she will always have her family to support her, and recognize that many people don't. I want her to know that her body is hers and hers alone, and while I hope she never has to make hard decisions regarding it, that many people do. I want her to know that life is not black and white, and although it might be easier to live like it is, she will be able to find her own path among the gray areas. The gray areas are where I've always found common ground, love and compassion. It's where I've been able to walk a mile in someone else's shoes and leave my judgement at the door. It's where I've struggled, found heartbreak, and ultimately grown.
I want her to know that education is power and you can't trust the internet. I want her to know that her story is her own, and you never know what another person is going through or where they've been. For every story about someone who pulled themselves up by their bootstraps, there is a story about someone who tried and failed. For every story about someone who choose to keep their baby, there is a story about someone who could not. For every story about someone who rose above incredible odds, there is a story about someone who did not. For every story about someone who works the system, there is a story about someone who does not.
I want her to know that THAT is what makes America great. The fabric of America lies in those stories. The stories that make us who we are and who we will become.
I want her to listen to those stories without judgement, without fear, with kindness and with grace. Grace is like a gift that you don't deserve and I want her to offer it as many times as she can.
